I tapped on the window. Her back was to me, & she turned & tapped on the door. I knocked harder on the window, with my knuckle. She turned & looked at me. I held up one finger, as in Wait a Minute While I Put Some Clothes On. She laughed & waved her finger back & forth as in No. I laughed & grabbed my jeans & slid them on. I went to the door & pulled it open. "I came for Mike, but I think Louise is over there," she said.
"Yes," I smiled, "I was supposed to intercept you because he's trying to make up with her after she caught you with him this morning."
"Do you have a bottle opener?"
"Yes," I said, & turned towards the shelves. "Yes I have one, but can I find it? That is a separate question which may have a different answer."
"I need to open my bottle," she said, "do you mind if I sit down for 5 minutes before I go & ruin Mike's love life?"
"No, of course not. Here it is! I handed the bottle opener to her. She was sitting on the edge of the futon emptying the purse between her legs.
"I know it's here. I had a 32 ounce Heineken in here. It must've dropped out when I tried to go over the fence."
"How did you get back there anyway?"
"That's for me to know & you to find out."
The back of our building was secured. There's a 6-foot high fence next to my door, a locked gate the same height on the other side of the building, and another gate behind the back of the carry-out next door, which is also sealed. The only other way, which was probably the way she did it, was over the ice machine next to the front of the carry-out. Unless she sweet-talked Jay (on the other side of Mike) & he let her through his apartment. But his back door is across from Mike's back door, & that would be taking a chance.
"Shit," she said, "it's not here. It fell out somewhere."
"It smells like you've had enough to drink for one night anyway. And keep it down," I whispered, "they'll hear you."
"You think I should throw a brick through his window? I've already written a note."
"Wouldn't work, we've got plastic windows. Maybe you should crawl through the air vent."
"The what?"
"The vents," I said & pointed to the vent at the top of our common wall." She laughed so loud I shushed her again.
"That's tempting," she whispered.
But I realized I didn't want her to leave. "What is your name in French? Mike said you lived in France."
"In France I went by my middle name. Terri is pronounced so gutturally that I thought people were spitting all over me. 'TAYRrrrrr-Ee.' So I went by my middle name instead."
"Which is?"
"Lynne. But they said it Lee-NAY."
"You don't even know my name, do you?" I smiled.
She stopped & smiled. Opened her mouth & froze. "What is your name?"
"I'm not telling. I'm safer that way."
"What is your name?"
"Me llamo Juan."
"John. Do you know Spanish?"
"I only took a class or two."
"Your eyes are..."
"What?"
"Your eyes are..."
"When I was a little boy, I used to always get older girls coming up to me & saying, 'Oh, look how long his eyelashes are'."
"I just noticed how long your eyelashes are. But what I meant is that your eyes are searching."
"What did they find?" I smiled & moved closer.
"I don't know. What are they looking for?"
I kissed her & pulled back.
She said, "They're still searching."
I kissed her again; tasted her tongue.
"I bet you're thinking, 'How did I end up with this crazy woman in my place in the middle of the night?' You'll probably cuss Mike out tomorrow."
"Nope. Not for anyone who kisses like that." I was on top of her by now & we were moving slowly.
"Who was it that invented these things?" she said, "I'm gonna get rid of them."
"What things?"
"Clothes."
I laughed. We kissed & she undid her belt. We rubbed & she undid the dress top. She took the shirt off. We kissed some more & she took the dress off. I rolled onto my side & undid my snap & she reached down my pants. She pulled off her tights & I pulled back.
"Be right back. I'm gonna get a condom." "You gonna help me put it on?" I asked as I lay on my back. She crawled beside me & touched the condom. "Oops, it's upside down," I said & turned it over. It rolled right down.
"You didn't hardly need me," she said. She lay back down. "Excuse my gastrointestinal-intestinal malfunction," she said as she pulled off her slip.
"Damn, you sure you didn't fall in some dog shit when you were crawling around behind our building? That's O.K., if you're around much you'll start complaining - usually I'm the one. It must be the beer you drank."
I took off her toe ring & sat it on the floor beside the futon. "Hey," she said, "put that back on." She also had a spiral of silver & turquoise around her arm just above the elbow, rings, bracelets, and a couple necklaces. One of the necklaces had a tiny silver bell that I held to quiet as we were moving. I rolled on my back & she came down over me. Her pubic hair was long & fine & light-colored.
"I only met you one time before this morning - at the bus stop. Your hair was lighter then."
"Was it blond?"
"No. I think it was more brownish." Her hair is black tonight. She was off the futon above her waist. We were going fast & she farted three, four times.
"That's how you can tell a woman's having a good time," she said.
"Yes, I know," I laughed & kept going. On the stereo, Nina was going where the Chilly Winds Don't Blow. We were the flashes on the wall in the front room as traffic went down the street and we were the dark shadows under the blanket dumped onto the floor & relegated a body's length away. She was on top or I was on top, it never really mattered like the sheets that came off or were pulled partially back on. Randomly; fast & slow. I was only with her, or I was my most alone. Outside: engines & horns & footsteps & shouts & car doors & the swish of tires down the road. A television speaking through the wall. & us with the radiator's sighs & shifting dimness & all of time wavery inside the reverberation of Sinnerman's cymbals. Our torsos split at about the solar plexus & sweat dripped at that point where our grunts & moans would first vibrate into each other.
The cd ended & in the silence I could hear the leaves scratching the window as the back-porch light danced their silhouettes across the blind. I looked at her & said, "You're getting tired, aren't you?"
"How can you tell?" she asked; rolled her head to the side, eyes closed, & faked a snore.
I laughed. We lay there smiling into each other's eyes. I flexed my stomach, causing a jump inside her. She flexed her stomach & grabbed me. I kissed her. I reached down & grabbed the base of the condom & pulled out. We were laying there looking at each other & she closed her eyes. I kept looking at her & she opened them. She giggled & turned her head away from me. I kept looking. She turned around & giggled again, then pulled me towards her until I pressed against her back, both of us laying on our sides.
Terri was about 9 years older than me & mostly when she showed up she'd been drinking. She had been burned once, & there was a patch of scar tissue on her back. She often ground her teeth in her sleep. She shook. She jerked. She talked & moaned. Sometimes I'd hold her & wake her & say, "Hey, it's all right."
She'd be half asleep & say, "What?"
"Bad dream," I'd say & she'd go back to sleep. I'd lay there wondering what her life had been like. Lay there remembering, from the alcohol on her breath, the mostly empty beer bottles next to the filled ash trays on the coffee tables in the basement the morning after my parents would have some of their friends over when I was a child. Walking downstairs on a Saturday to watch cartoons, with the couches & chairs still pulled closer together.